This Personality Type Is Known To Sacrifice Themselves — Is It Yours? (2024)

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December 20, 2023

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By Sarah Regan

mbg Spirituality & Relationships Editor

Sarah Regan is a Spirituality & Relationships Editor, and a registered yoga instructor. She received her bachelor's in broadcasting and mass communication from SUNY Oswego, and lives in Buffalo, New York.

Enneagram 9 overviewEnneagram 9 wingsLevels of developmentMisconceptionHow to thrive

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This Personality Type Is Known To Sacrifice Themselves — Is It Yours? (3)

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December 20, 2023

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From the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator to the Big 5 personality assessment, who doesn't love a good personality test?The Enneagramis another popular personality system that categorizes people into one ofnine typesbased on how you answer a series of introspective questions.

As for type 9's, these people are the peacemakers of the Enneagram. Here's everything you should be aware of if you (or someone you know) is a 9.

Enneagram 9: The Peacemaker

This Personality Type Is Known To Sacrifice Themselves — Is It Yours? (4)

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  • Core fear:Loss and separation
  • Core desire:Peace of mind
  • Core coping strategy:Narcotization (numbing to avoid unwanted internal or external conflict)
  • Enneagram 9 wings:9w8 and 9w1

Type 9's are the peacemakers of the Enneagram. They're characterized by a keen ability to take in multiple perspectives, as well as meditate and literally make peace. That said, they can go so far as to abandon their own needs for the sake of others, even unconsciously. They're inclined to go with the flow in order to keep the peace, even if that means doing things they don't want to do.

As Enneagram educator and relationship coachJulie Nguyen tells mindbodygreen, these folks tend to be agreeable, calm, self-effacing, patient, easygoing, and have a go-with-the-flow attitude. "They crave comfort and desire harmony, peace, and stability above all else," she adds.

As such, their basic fear is marked by abandonment, separation conflict, and losing connection with the people that matter the most to them, Nguyen explains, noting that despite their easygoing nature, they can actually be quite stubborn.

And according to Enneagram coach Jay Martynov, 9'sare positionedat the top of the Enneagram wheel for a reason: This type is able to understand and see reality through the eyes of all types of the system.

"Because of this innate ability, they are the best mediators in any kind of situation," he says, adding, "But this comes at a dear price, as 9's lose themselves in others' wants and desires, not knowing what theyreallywant themselves."

Enneagram 9 wings

The Enneagram wings are the two numbers on either side of one type, and many people (but not all!) will display a unique combination of their dominant type with aspects of one of the wings more so than the other.

In the case of Enneagram 9's, the two wing options are 9w8 and 9w1.

9w8

According to Nguyen, type 9's with an 8 wing are going to have a combination of 9's peacemaking abilities with 8's assertive nature.

"The 9w8 has strong leadership and a surprisingly sturdy dimension to their personality," she explains, adding that the eight adds vitality to how they move in the world. "They're much more assertive, bold, confident, and adventurous."

9w1

Where the 9w8 is assertive, the 9w1 is idealistic, according to Nguyen. As she tells mindbodygreen, "They have a really strong perspective of justice and doing right."

With this wing, there's a sense of fairness and inspiration added to the mix of the 9's peacemaking, with 1's being all about morality. "9's already love helping others, but with the one wing, it's even more exemplified," Nguyen says.

Enneagram 9 celebrities & characters

  • Mister Rogers
  • Ariana Grande
  • Carl Jung
  • Claude Monet
  • Marie Kondo
  • Audrey Hepburn
  • Barack Obama
  • Abraham Lincoln
  • Alicia Keys
  • Zooey Deschanel
  • Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz
  • Aurora from Sleeping Beauty
  • Harry Potter
  • Winnie-the-Pooh
  • Pocahontas

Enneagram 9 strengths & weaknesses

Strengths

  • Easygoing
  • Understanding
  • Patient
  • Calm
  • Open-minded
  • Supportive
  • Nonjudgmental
  • Good at mediating

Weaknesses

  • Self-sacrificing
  • Can be complacent
  • Denial
  • Conflict averse

Enneagram 9 levels of development

As Nguyen tells mindbodygreen, all the Enneagram types go through different stages of development, which can range between healthy, average, and unhealthy. "And it's common to toggle between these different stages based on the personal development you're doing yourself, the life events you're going through, and if there are any stressors," she adds.

Healthy levels

At a healthy stage in their lives, Enneagram 9's are able to maintain strong boundaries, be in relationships with others, and be in relationship with themselves. "They can say what they want and become a really active agent, participating in their own life and understanding their dreams—and not really attaching them to somebody else's dream," Nguyen adds.

Average levels

During a more average level of development, an Enneagram 9 may have trouble maintaining those boundaries to keep their relationships healthy. As Nguyen tells mindbodygreen, "They may merge with others at the cost of losing themselves, so they could feel really stuck and inert."

Unhealthy levels

In the case of Enneagram 9's, at the unhealthy level, they might sweep all their issues under the rug to avoid their problems, Nguyen explains. With their core coping strategy as narcotization, or numbing, "They can be quite stubborn, refusing to confront their issues and asserting their needs," Nguyen says.

Enneagram 9 compatibility & relationships

When it comes to their relationships, Nguyen tells mindbodygreen that Enneagram 9's tend to be steadfast, sweet, loyal, and accepting. "They see you for who you are, and they love you completely," she says.

They do have a tendency to merge with their partner and avoid conflict, so that's something to watch out for, with Nguyen adding, "Type 9's tend to do that until they put their foot down when something really matters and they can't bite their tongue anymore."

Ultimately, they're extraordinarily patient and understanding lovers, making their partner feel deeply seen, acknowledged, and validated. "Secure 9's care about maintaining internal/external peace and smoothing tension through empathy," Nguyen notes.

And in terms of Enneagram compatibility, she says this type can really go well with any of the other types, especially considering they're so understanding. However, according to Nguyen, she finds they often pair well with Enneagram 6's and Enneagram 1's.

"They tend to match quite well with 1's because 9's easygoing nature really goes a long way in quelling 1's quest for always being the best they can be—that inner critical voice it's pretty tough on 1's." Further, she notes, "1's are able to give clarity to 9's, which 9's really appreciate because they tend to have a fuzzy quality throughout life, putting others first instead of themselves."

And when paired with an Enneagram 6, Nguyen tells mindbodygreen that 9's offer the stability and comfort that 6's crave, making for a relationship that feels safe and secure. "And once 6's choose the 9 partner, they tend to offer complete loyalty and fidelity—which is super attractive to a type 9, who is afraid of loss," she adds.

Enneagram 9 misconception

According to Nguyen, the biggest misconception around Enneagram 9's is that they're too easygoing to get mad.As she explains, "Self-effacing 9's have an inner yearning to express their anger and indignation to others, but those desires can be mainly unconscious since they take great lengths to keep their environment peaceful."

While they may not show it, a 9 could be quietly bubbling up with anger under the surface. "This can look like going with the flow and getting caught up in what others want them to do—but this strategy doesn't work for long, and 9's can be forced into conflict when they finally speak up and stand up for what they really want," Nguyen says.

How to thrive as an Enneagram 9

According to Enneagram educator and author ofThe Enneagram & You Gina Gomez, Enneagram 9's benefit from a daily practice that elevates their heart rate and encourages them to move their bodies.

As she previously wrote for mindbodygreen, "The movement should feel rejuvenating, not burdensome. This will vary depending on their preference and circ*mstances, but activating the energy within them can create amazing results for their self-confidence and ability to move more freely through adversities."

And as Martynov notes, this type is often triggered when they're pushed into a corner by someone asking them to make a decision or take an action.As such, he says, "9's canalleviatethe stress by asking the requester to limit their decision selection to a small number of choices and working on strategies to alleviate their indecisiveness."

To that end, Nguyen adds, Enneagram 9's also do well to move into action and not give away their power. "By doing this, they're able to tap into their natural leadership qualities that make them great at leading teams and making everybody feel taken care of."

FAQ:

What does a 9 Enneagram mean?

Type 9's are the peacemakers of the Enneagram. They're characterized by a keen ability to take in multiple perspectives, as well as mediate and literally make peace. That said, they can go so far as to abandon their own needs for the sake of others, even unconsciously.

What drains an Enneagram 9?

Conflict and negative emotions, particularly anger and frustration, tend to drain Enneagram 9's because they are known to sacrifice their own needs for others, deny their problems, and give their power away.

The takeaway

No Enneagram type is better or worse than another, each with its own strengths and weaknesses that play out in the individual depending on how mature they are. When it comes to 9's, there's certainly room to bea bit more selfish—and less self-effacing—but ultimately, these are supportive, understanding, and patient people who know how to make everyone feel good.

This Personality Type Is Known To Sacrifice Themselves — Is It Yours? (2024)
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